PAVE EVERY MOUNTAIN
A developer's pocket guide to quelling opposition, and reaching new heights in profits
- Buy the properties under various fictitious names- that will make it harder for nosy community groups to keep track of what you own, and what you're doing to it. It's not their business anyway.
- Think "green", or at least think how to talk "green", even if in your heart of hearts you know that bulldozing hillsides, clear-cutting trees, dredging and damming lakes, and dewatering class one trout streams is, well, maybe not exactly any color remotely near green. Maybe it's not even a color at all, but more of a word picture- like "scorched earth." Oh- and all the wood and cement and resources you'll use building 4 story condos- they don't exactly grow on trees, do they? Well, the wood does- maybe you can "recycle" all those trees you've clear-cut into building lumber. That'll enhance your "green" credentials. Right.
- Be warm, fuzzy, cosy, and dishonest as all get out to the public. Convince them that you are the "People's Developer", the one granting unlimited access to places, like Forest Service lands, that they've had access to all along. Meanwhile, let your investors know you really intend to cover the area with tony, private lodges, that no way will you let the shabby locals into- unless they work there, of course.
- Try to convince the locals that you're the "good" developer, and warn them that if they're fractious and prevent you from covering the mountain with 1000 condos, the "bad" developer who comes after you will cover the mountain with 1000 condos.
- Spend whatever astronomical amount you can get banks to loan you, and then, when you've blown it all on consultants and lawyers, demand your "reasonable investment expectations". Hope the public doesn't notice you (and the banks) have engaged in gambling, and they're expected to cover your losses.
- Make friends with the politicians, the supervisors, county employees, and their mothers. Buy whatever their children are selling, be it cookies, wreaths, or wrapping paper, and, you might consider donating to the elected officials' campaign funds. Donate lots. And then do it again. As for influencing the unelected officials, well, consider hiring a lobbyist- they'll have a hint or two for you.
- Mountains have lots of steep places that even you can't build on. Call this "open space" and encourage public groups to raise money to buy it from you. (Hint: if it's really, really steep, and maybe prone to avalanches, and the groups won't cough up the money, then give it to the county as "mitigation" for all the other bad things you're planning for the mountain.)
- Convince the locals you're going to build "the happiest place on earth", with camp vernacular, Sierra appropriate, never taller than the shortest trees architecture. Of course, those 3 and 4 story condos are pretty high, so maybe you should invest in some very tall, flame retardant artificial trees- the kinds phone companies pay you to install. Even if your development looms above the natural trees, at least everyone will have good cell phone reception- and you'll receive some cell phone generated income.
Oh, about that "happiest place on earth"- if the locals are pretty happy with the way it is now, and rather grumpy about your proposed condo empire, you might want to think of a way to, if not maximize your profits, at least get off the mountain in one piece (financially speaking, of course). Start talking to friendly land trusts now.